The Couch Incident
by Tidoj1508
Summary: Sonic and friends sit down for a TOD session, unaware that it may permanently change their lives. But never fear, for in parodies, anything is possible, including failure, so you never know what will happen. No OCs in the reviews!
1. Poetry Emoticons

The Couch Incident

Wasn't much of an "incident", more like a period of time in which strange things were said and done. The whole ordeal was masterminded by a mastermind of masterminds, the mast-okay, it was Eggman. His original plan was to send everyone to a literally blazing pit of fire and burn them to death, but instead, he somehow forgot about the whole thing and sat everyone down on a couch.

Sonic had just finished a Jones Soda*trademark*, and was about to recycle it, but was interrupted by Amy's suggestion to play "Spin the bottle". Sonic refused, but a light bulb appeared above his head.

"How 'bout a super risky game of Truth or dare?" He challenged everyone in the room.

"How about a collision with my fist?" Knuckles taunted."If you dare spin that thing, it won't be the only thing!"

"Relax, Tinkerbelle, it's just an innocent game to send people to death." Eggman chimed in."Yes, let us spin the bottle, and see where it lands."

In Knuckles' mind, everything shifted into slow-motion as a white-gloved hand reached for the glass bottle, and it rotated counter-clockwise in such a ominous-feeling fashion and I'm using too many hyphens, aren't I? At any rate, things went back to normal time and Sonic pulled his hands out of the jeans he apparently picked up while everyone else was distracted, so I guess the aforementioned "rate" was constantly changing. He began to ROFL and LOL and ROFLOL until he appeared dead.

Amy was about to scream in another cliché slomo scene, but Shadow covered her mouth before she could do anything. Sonic jumped back out of the stupid pants and everyone's attention was directed back to the bottle, which landed on Blaze. Now the real game began.

"Do you choose to tell me the truth, or fall victim to my dare?" Eggman inquired.

"I choose truth, for I have nothing to hide." Blaze kept a calm tone.

"Right, so, do your furballs catch fire?"

"What, no, of course not!" Blaze spat out, losing her cool.

"OBJECTION!" Sonic Interrupted.

"Sonic? What's with the suit?"

"Heheh!" Sonic chuckled with a wink and a thumbs-up."I'm bringing reasoning and Japanese justice to this game, courtesy of CAP-"

"HOLD IT!" Everyone turned to the thundering yell of a slim Ace Attorney, Phoenix Wright." It's my job to represent CAPCOM, not yours! Back me up, Mega man!"

"You heard the man! We're taking a piece of this pie, whether strawberry or apple! Even pizza!"

"Did someone say pizza?" Two heads poked up, one of them with a red hat, the other wearing stylish Italian clothes.

"Get the heck outta here, Mario and Italy! We have enough characters here as it is!" Mega man threatened the plumber and country. Luckily, the coward and maniac fled without a fight.

"*Ahem* Blaze, there are multiple records of flaming furballs burning your beds."Phoenix objected finally.

**Well, that's it for this chapter. See you guys next lifetime, 'cause I'm too lazy to write the next chapter.**


	2. Amy Fans Beware! Here Be Haters!

The Couch Incident Pt. 2

The worst part was that it took so long before he said it. Well that, and the briefness of the sentence. It made everything awkward and unsociable. Everyone in the room struggled to find a way to break the silence without being groaned again. Finally, Tails, yeah, y'know, the boring one with all the hand motions, spoke up with a question.

"Uh, where's Silver?"

"WHO's Silver?" Everyone else exclaimed.

"You know, the guy from the future. Doesn't Blaze know him?"

"OBJECTION!" Phoenix interrupted." If Blaze knows this person, and he is in the future, then she would also need to be in the future, or have been there. So either Blaze can travel through time, or she doesn't know Silver. You can't have both."

This was a much more reasonable statement than last time, and everyone nodded in agreement, except for Shadow, who remained facing down.

"Well, what're you waiting for?" He spoke up.

"What's up, emo?" Sonic teased.

"Spin it again." Shadow looked up.

"Spin what?"

"What, you've got a concussion? The bottle, nutcase! Spin it and see who the next victim is."

"I won't spin it. That's like asking for an inappropriate sitcom reference, and only Amy likes that."

"Hey! I resent that remark! Are you implying-"

"Fine then, you wimp, I'll spin it!" Shadow killed two birds for the price of one, and another free. Woot-woot!

Another Gavin Free (Google him) moment, and Shadow spins the bottle with a focused eye. Everyone's retinas spun around in sync with the vessel. Round and round and round she goes. Where does she stop? Nobody knows worth a shazam!, except me, but I'm not telling you! Story's over!

"Wait a minute!" Amy screamed." I want a decent outcome of this moment!"

Well, fine, Mrs. Smarties M&Ms Skittles pants! The bottle landed on Amy, she chose "dare", so Shadow dared her to swan dive into the John! Happy?

"No! And now I smell like shazam!"

Well, you can't blame me. Oh, wait, you can. Okay, while Amy was distracted, Eggman fired a miniaturized death ray and Amy died and everyone was happy and the end!


	3. Overexplanation and Disruptive Cops

Amy survived the humiliation and explosion, thanks to the magic of the theatre. Yeah, the 'r' come before the 'e' here in Canada, so suck it up. Anyway, you can bet she threatened everyone with her own brand of theatre magic. I don't even know what that means, but I refuse to find out. Sonic did, though, and as Espio took a sip of Jasmine, he ignored the noise in the other room. Suddenly, it started tasting gross, so he smashed it on Charmy's head. Bad idea.

"You want this?" Charmy challenged, with his fists up.

"Yes, I want every bit of it. Gimme!" Espio had the bad part of being a big brother, but he decided 'screw it' and chased Charmy around the room like the non-bear he was. Then, as Charmy landed on Vector's primely located noggin, the whole ordeal turned into a pathetic excuse for a 'Get Fuzzy' reference. Fortunately, Tails was there to paralyse them all with some high-tech plasma gun he never uses in the games. Oh, Tails, you useless little brat, you. :)

"Amy, can you get Sonic out of your torture chamber and spin the bottle already?" Knuckles requested with his nose plugged using a clothespin he pulled out of a slightly better smelling place.

"Eww, Knuckles, why wopuld you pull a thing like that out of a place like that!" Amy almost hurled hypocritically.

"Listen, lady, for one thing," Knuckles counted on his fingers." I need to keep up with business if I want to entertain, and for another thing, it's no less appropriate than your handy work!" He removed the disgusting piece of equipment he'd never use anyway, so rest assured, you can read on and keep your keyboard clean.

Before Amy could reach for the bottle, a bunch of nutjobs from the agency where they have guns, I mean GUN, stormed in. The inappropriate audiences were out GUNned as the GUN guys ehld up their GUNs and had everyone at GUNpoint. I know, I know, strudels should have bacon, but you also put pork on your apple turnovers-oh wait, those are the same thing, NEVERMIND!

**And to Werewolflover99, just leave my stories alone. I've never liked you, and you should just back off. Your reviews are useless, selfish, whiney, wasteful, and I hate them with a passion. If I say I don't want OCs in my Fanfiction I mean I don't want any reviews mentioning them, godforbid asking me to put them in my fanfiction You want your OCs, write your own fanfiction, better yet, write an original story without your overpowered characters before you even consider writing Archie Comics, cause any idiot can tell you're lightyears away from writing anything, let alone for a big press like Archie.**

***Ahem* Sorry, had to get that off my chest.**


End file.
